Hmm. Bruce Springsteen and Eric Clapton — not on the same night, apparently — to headline 25th-anniversary concerts for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Two nights, with Metallica and Simon & Garfunkel (oh, my), and Crosby, Stills & Nash (oh, dear), U2 (oh, lord), and all sorts of other likely and unlikely people. And it’ll all be edited down for HBO, in what I’m sure will be a pleasant deal for everyone.
I am the furthest thing from a rock purist there is, but these all-star gatherings just leave me cold, and maybe a little creeped out. Yes, I know everyone else got over this about 24 1/2 years ago, but I still hate the whole idea of a Rock Hall.
Not that I believe that rock was ever “real” or other than a money-making corporate venture. I don’t think there really are, or ever were, a lot of rock fans — over age 13 or so — who honestly buy into rock ‘n’ roll image-making. People periodically attempt to expose that “star-maker machinery,” but I don’t know as anybody ever tried all that hard to hide the gears and levers. Rock stars in the ’60s were not movie stars in the ’40s.
I mean, who was horrified when Jerry Lee Lewis married his baby cousin? Or when the cute Fab Four mutated (in remarkably short order) into hairy, drugged-out freakshows? The people who’d bought the image in the first place. And that wasn’t, in general, the fans, who knew these guys weren’t all that harmless. The Beatles popped up with a slick, beautifully produced tune that’s twice as warped and misogynistic as “Under My Thumb” in 1965. (Yes, I know “Run for Your Life” is a joke. That’s exactly what makes it so repellent.)
Sure, later in the ’60s, some people were buying into the “rock poet” bit, but that was a silly time and it didn’t last (and the head poet, Jim Morrison, certainly didn’t). But, you know, David Bowie wrote the final word on rock god image-making the year he was Ziggy Stardust. And that was way back in 1972.
I’ve been to the Rock Hall — business trip, not my idea — and I guess it was a kick to see, albeit in surprisingly awkwardly staged exhibits, some of Jimmy Page’s embroidered finery or what was left of Keith Moon’s “Pictures of Lily” drum set.
And yet. There is just something so irritatingly That’s Entertainment about a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I know, rock is just entertainment, same as movies or TV or Harry Potter. It’s not any more real or genuine or honest. It’s not the voice of disaffected youth — or, if that is how it has sometimes functioned, it is certainly not what it’s for. But it’s just not supposed to be so damn innocuous.
And the inductees? Have they been announced yet? Don’t know, and honestly, don’t care.